


Gensokyo Yukkuris: Free Range Rude

by AlgaeNymph



Category: Touhou Project
Genre: Abyuse, Gen, Psychological Torture, Scat, Yukkuri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-02
Updated: 2015-07-02
Packaged: 2018-04-07 09:04:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4257483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlgaeNymph/pseuds/AlgaeNymph
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reimu has no problem with yukkuris taking it easy, but not at the expense of other yukkuris.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gensokyo Yukkuris: Free Range Rude

**Author's Note:**

> The following work features terminology unique to yukkuri fandom (the term "fan" being very loose in many cases). Here's a very brief overview.
> 
> Yukkuri: A semi-sapient pastry shaped like the head of a Touhou character. They're notorious for being even less intelligent than fairies, often leading to gruesome death agonies.
> 
> Koyukkuri: A yukkuri child. Often shortened to "ko."
> 
> Yukkuri[name]: A specific species of yukkuri (e.g., yukkurireimu, yukkurimarisa, etc.)
> 
> Abyuse: Yukkuri abuse, comes in many gruesome forms.
> 
> Nicehead: A particularly friendly, and relatively intelligent, yukkuri. Valued as pets, though some evil people love to torture even them.
> 
> Scum: An especially ill-mannered yukkuri, and often stupidly belligerent, yukkuri. Also known as the "shithead."
> 
> Middle yukkuri: Standard yukkuri, selfish without being malicious. Often conflated with scum.
> 
> Anyaru: The yukkuri anus.
> 
> Poo-poo: Yukuri feces, made out of stale organ paste.
> 
> More on yukkuris can be found here: http://yukkuri.wikia.com/wiki/Yukkuri

             It was a cool and sunny morning at the Hakurei Shrine, the ideal day for yukkuris to take it easy.

             A good day for shrine maidens to take it easy as well.

             Reimu relaxed on the entrance to her shrine, happily watching the several pastry-based caricatures of her and her friends bounce around and mill about. On one spot, a yukkurireimu was singing a simple yu-song about easy days before an appreciative audience. On another, Suika was lying on the ground with her yukkuri counterparts, offering them drinks from her gourd when she wasn’t drinking away herself. One of the yukkurisuikas peed in happiness.

             Reimu wasn’t concerned that all the happy pee would make her shrine reek of booze, she’d have Suika condense and clean it up later.

             Bouncing around the area was Shinmyoumaru gleefully riding a particularly athletic yukkurimarisa. That sight always made Reimu smile.

             Over on another side were Sunny Milk and Luna Child trying to play checkers with koreimus and komarisas as pieces, while Star Sapphire watched. The kos kept bouncing out of their places when the fairies weren’t looking, and sometimes when they were. The fairies either didn’t know how to play, or kept making up new rules when they got bored, likely both. Still, everyone looked like they were having fun.

             Reimu certainly was, watching all the happiness.

             “Taje id ezhy, Mish Weimu,” slurred a koyukkuri too young to talk properly.

             Reimu turned to the koyukkuri, another koreimu, who called out to her. “Hey, little one. What do you want?”

             “Weimu would like ezhy Mishter Munch-Munch!” the koreimu said.

             Reimu pulled a slice of bread out of her sleeve, broke off a piece, and offered it to the koreimu. The ko’s eyes and smile widened before she happily munched away on the food.

             “Taje id ezhy, ezhy Mish Weimu!” thanked the ko as she bounced off

             “Take it easy, little one,” Reimu said. A voice in her head, that sounded too much like Kasen, nagged at her for not teaching the ko proper manners, and for giving a handout instead of training the yukkuri to take care of herself. Reimu disregarded this as she did all of Kasen’s petty insistences; all that mattered was that the yukkuri was thankful.

             Reimu liked that about yukkuris, how they appreciated her, how they didn’t insist she be perfect. That they treated the leaves she needed to clean as food was a bonus.

             Food…Reimu looked to where she heard the ko she fed bounce off too, waiting for a mob of siblings to bounce towards her for a handout. Sure enough, several koreimus and komarisas bounded her way for the rest of her bread, loudly chattering about “ezhy Mishter bread!” Reimu laid out the slice she took out earlier on the ground for the rushing mob. “Remember to share, little ones,” she said.

             They didn’t pay any attention to her as they swarmed on the bread and devoured it with abandon, it was gone in seconds.

 _At least they’re not fighting each other over who got more_ Reimu thought.

             “Thanks, Mish Weimu,” a komarisa said, “Marisha wants more MIshter bread ezhy, -ze!”

             “You get more food when everyone else does,” Reimu said.

             “Yu? Marisha doesn’t understand, -ze.” the komarisa said.

             “It wouldn’t be fair if some yukkuris got no food,” Reimu said

             “Marisha doesn’t understand, -ze, but Marisha will bring yukkuris over so Marisha can have more munch-munch, -ze” the komarisa said before vigorously bounding away toward a group of yukkuris.

             “Weimu will help too! Weimu want more munch-munch!” a koreimu said before bouncing to another group of yukkuris.

             Immediately, the hungry yukkuris scattered to bring all the yukkuris to Reimu in the hopes of getting fed. Reimu groaned and pulled the rest of her loaf of sliced Western bread out of the void pocket in her sleeve. She quickly laid every slice in front of her in a semicircle.

             And just in time, as dozens of hungry pastry heads recklessly converged on the food. Reimu’s housemates followed in morbid curiosity.

             Reimu knew this led to scum behavior, but she also knew how to cull populations.

             Only size differentiated adults from children as the yukkuris mindlessly fed as swiftly as possible. Sure enough, one notably gluttonous yukkurireimu was getting far more than her fair share.

             Reimu, looking intently as the misbehaving yukkuri, felt her stomach growl.

             In half a minute, the food was all gone. Unfortunately, so was the good mood of the yukkuris.

             “Yum! Munch-munch is _all gone!_ ” a notably large yukkurireimu gleefully called out. “Reimu wants sweet-sweets now!”

             “No fair! Glutton Reimu had lots of slices, -ze!” shouted a developed komarisa.

             “Reimu’s little ones need munch-munch more,” complained a yukkurireimu.

             “Reimu is a _special_ yukkuri,” the offending glutton cheerfully said, “so Reimu deserves more munch-munch than not-special yukkuris! Sorry for being so cuuuute~”

             “Glutton Reimu does nothing but eat other yukkuris’ munch-munch and poo-poo everywhere, -ze!” a yukkurimarisa said.

             “Marisa should be grateful to Reimu and die, so Reimu can have more to eat!” the offender angrily shouted, before quickly switching back to oblivious cheer. “Yukkuris can eat Reimu’s special Mister Poo-Poo, which is special because _Reimu_ is special, so yukkuris should be thankful and take it easy!”

            “Weimu can’t tage it ezhyyyy!” bawled a koreimu.

            Many of the other koyukkuri followed suit.

            The adults puffed their cheeks in anger.

            Even the yukkurisuikas were beginning to sober up.

            Reimu picked up the offender and stood up.

            “It’s like flying in the sky!” Glutton Reimu said reflexively.

            “You need to go,” Reimu said plainly.

            “Happiness!” Glutton Reimu cooed. “Reimu is getting sweet-sweets when other yukkuris don’t! Reimu is so _special!_ ”

            Reimu checked the back of Glutton Reimu’s bow: two tiny black spots.

            Two botched chances at life. This was the third.

            Reimu turned to Suika.

            “I know, keep ‘em calm, cheer ‘em up…” Suika wearily said.

            Reimu nodded, then turned around and headed inside.

            “Yu! Miss Reimu knows Miss’s place,” Glutton Reimu said with her usual infuriating cheer, “taking special Reimu inside for super-easy sweet-sweets! Reimu will reward Miss with a special song Reimu made up just for this easy occasion!”

            Reimu said nothing, walking further inside with grim purpose.

            Glutton Reimu began singing.

            Yu, yu~

            Sweet-sweets for Reimu!

            Yu, yu~

            ‘Cause Reimu’s so special!

            Yu, yu~

            Reimu is the easiest!

            Yu, yu~

            Yukkuris are jealous~

            Yu, yu~

            Of Reimu’s easiness~

            Yu, yu~

            Reimu is superior!

            Yu, yu~

            Reimu sings the best!

            Yu, y-

            “Shut up, we’re here,” Reimu said.

            In front of the two was a Western-style door with “HELL'S KITCHEN” painted in dripping maroon kanji. _Gods, she is such a child_ Reimu thought while looking at the script.

            “Reimu knows what Mister Words say! They say “sweet-sweets!” Sweet-sweets for Reimu, whose music makes the uneasy yukkuris jealous of-”

            SMACK

            A red spot was on Glutton Reimu’s cheek where Reimu just slapped her.

            “WHY DID SHITTY OLD HAG DO THAT!?” The thing shrieked.

            Reimu just gave a tired stare.  “Do you remember our talk the last time?”

            “Old Hag should stop saying things Reimu doesn’t understand an’ fork over the sweet-sw-”

            SMACK

            “Yeah, you didn’t remember it the last time either,” Reimu muttered. She then opened the door, knelt down, and brusquely shoved the doomed pastry inside.

            “Don’t wanna do roll-roll!”

            The door slammed shut before Glutton Reimu roll-rolled into the wal-.

**Thump**

            “Yuuuu…”

            Glutton Reimu quivered in pain for several long moments. Eventually, she tried to look around, but saw nothing in the lightlessness.

            “It’s nighttime already? Reimu doesn’t remember having an easy nap-nap. Reimu remembers! Reimu is going to have easy sweet-sweets while yukkuris have none and watch!”

            She paused for a long moment, trying to figure out how absolute darkness and sweets went together.  

            “Reimu doesn’t see sweet-sweets, but Reimu understands! Miss is going to bring sweet-sweets to Reimu so Reimu can take it easy! Lots is enough. Right now is fine.”

            click

            The red darkroom lights gave an appropriate ambiance to Glutton Reimu’s situation. The now-visible bottom shelves in front of Glutton Reimu were filled with several dead, accessory-less yukkuris. Only the way their faces contorted in agony differentiated them, save for the one already half-eaten.

            “Yu! Uneasy things without accessories need to not take it easy and die easy so Reimu can take it easy and munch-munch on easy sweet-sweets!” The corpses didn’t respond. “Reimu is strong! Uneasy scum need to die now, or Reimu will _puufffff!_ ” She immediately puffed up her cheeks at the inanimate objects that were once yukkuris.

            “Just once, I’d like to see one more intelligent than a skin parasite.”

            Glutton Reimu turned to the voice behind her. The woman had long hair, and a dark outfit consisting of robes and a conical hat. The colors were difficult to determine in the red light, but her glowing green eyes and predatory expression wasn’t.

            Except for scum yukkuri.

            “Oh! Miss is Reimu’s new slave!” the idiot said with naive happiness. “Reimu will be having lots of sweet-sweets now.”

            “No, I’ll be having _you_ as a sweet-sweet,” Mima said.

            “Yu? Reimu doesn’t understand.”

            “I’ll bet Deibu seldom does.”

            With ghostly agility, Mima swooped down and scooped Glutton Reimu up…

            “It’s like fl-”

_fffsssszzzzz_

**“HOOOOWWWWTCH!”**

            Slammed bottom first on the hot plate, Glutton Reimu squirmed and screamed.

            “DEIBU’S MIZTER FOOOT!”

            Mima tipped Glutton Reimu back, forcing her “bottom” onto the pan.

_ffsszz_

            “YUAAAUGGGGHHH! WEIMU’S ANYARU! WEIMU WILL NEVER MAKE EASY POO-POO AGAIN!”

            “Can’t have you shitting out those bad thoughts,” Mima said, “that tasty pain and suffering is going to accumulate for the rest of your short life.”

            “STOB SAYING THINGS DEIBU DOEZNT UNDERSTAND!”

            “I’d have to shut up completely for that to happen, and even you should know that I can’t be a _real_ dark magician without monologuing.” Mima stood back, chin in hand, and hmm’d while Glutton Reimu screamed and sobbed. “Then again, sweetness and light magicians can get kinda talky too. I really should pick a fight with that chesty bodhisattva somet-”

            “WHY IZ DIS HABBENING TO DEIBUUUUU?!”

            Mima snapped her fingers. “Right, I’m here for psych torture.” She turned to face her victim, no longer screaming, wincing and quivering in pain from being cooked alive. Mima edged her face close enough to Glutton Reimu’s that she could smell the dying manjuu’s breath over her sizzling skin.

            “I’m bored and wanna get to the mind-rape, so I’ll make this quick. Reimu — that’s you — thought Reimu — you again — was better than other yukkuris, so Reimu wouldn’t let yukkuris take it easy. Reimu ate too much munch-munch, leaving none for yukkuris. Reimu said uneasy things to yukkuris, even though th- _yukkuris_ were never uneasy to Reimu. Gods, yu-speak is a pain…”

            “Yu-uu-uuuu…” sobbed Glutton Reimu, caught up in her world of pain.

            “Miss — the gal who sent you here to be torture-murdered by me — wanted to let yukkuris take it easy, even Reimu. Reimu kept saying uneasy things to Miss, even though Miss wanted Reimu to take it easy. Miss told Reimu lots of times that all Reimu had to do to take it easy was let Miss and other Yukkuris take it easy. Reimu didn’t, so Reimu is going to die on Mister Hot-Plate. Understand _that_ easy?”

            Glutton Reimu only moaned, shaking in pai-.

            “SAY SOMETHING!”

            “Deibu is sowwy! Deibu is s-”

            “Were you sorry when you were uneasy to yukkuris?”

            “Deibu doezn’t understand…”

            “And that’s why _Deibu_ is going to hurt-hurt,” Mima said. She floated back, and with a wave of her and and an arcane murmuring, an image of the Hakurei Shrine grounds appeared.

            It was a scene of innocent idyllic bliss, with Reimu and Suika playing koyukkuri checkers. Yukkuris and fairies were watching, laughing, and generally enjoying each other’s company. Reimu in particular gave no indication that she just sentenced a yukkuri to a gruesome, agonizing end.

            “Look at them taking it easy. Don’t you wish _you_ were there taking it easy?

            “Shiddy yukkuris stob tageing id ezhy wifout Deibu!”

            “They can’t hear you. In fact, they’ve already forgotten you’ve ever existed. You _could’ve_ been existing there, but you’re _not_ because you wouldn’t let others take it easy. So now you’re _here_ , with _me_.”

            “Deibu iz a living being with thoughts an’ feelings an’ hopes an dream-”

            Mima flicked her in the eye.

            “Yuooooohhh!”

            “That line ain’t gonna work when you didn’t care about other people. I’m just treating you how you did others. Right now, I’m not only the only person in this room who matters, I’m the only person here _period_. You are a _shithead_ that exists only to be tortured for pleasure. I can count the beings who care about your welfare on one hand, and they’ll never know you’ve ever existed! You’re just an abstract concept at this point.”

            “Don’d…underzta-”

            “I’ll let them explain it,” Mima said. She circled her hands around glutton Reimu, chanted something…

            Reimu was outside again! There were yukkuris and easy grass everywhere! Mister Sun was not letting Reimu take it easy, and uneasy Mister Rock was very hot.

            “Reimu knows! Reimu will just hop off! Sorry for being so smart!”

            Reimu tried to hop off, but couldn’t.

            “Yu?” She tried again, but couldn’t.

            Reimu felt something churn in her paste.

            “It’s Reimu’s super poo-poo time!” She tried to roll-roll on her back-

            “Howtch!” She quickly sat up. She tried to lean forward, and succeeded.

            “Poo-poo’s coming oouuut…”

            Nothing came out.

            “Yu?” Reimu tried to bend forward some more, but failed.

            “Yu?!” She tried to hop off the hot rock again, to no effect.

            With eyes widening, Reimu suddenly realized the gravity of her situation.

            “Somebody help Reimu!” she shrieked. “Reimu’s Mister Foot and anyaru aren’t working, and Reimu can’t get off uneasy Mister Rock! Somebody help Reimu take it easy!

            The surrounding yukkuris hopped towards Reimu, closing in on her. One yukkurireimu looked larger than the other yukkuris assembled, and was much better groomed. Reimu reached the obvious conclusion.

            “Happiness! Mommy’s here! Mommy, Help Reimu!”

            Mommy Reimu closed her eyes and gave a cheery smile. “Mommy will do no such thing, uneasy scum.”

            Reimu was stunned for a moment.

            “WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?!” she screamed.

            “Because Glutton Reimu can’t take it easy. All Glutton Reimu does is eat munch-munch that other yukkuris deserve, then poo-poos everywhere and tells other yukkuris to eat it. Stupid Reimu should know that yukkuris can’t eat poo-poo, but stupid Reimu doesn’t because Reimu is a shithead.”

            “Stop saying things Reimu doesn’t like!”

            “No. Mommy is going to do hurt-hurt to Shit Reimu with uneasy Mister Words, and Shit Reimu will die of uneasiness. Happiness!”

            “Yeah, Marisa’s gonna tell Shit Reimu what uneasy shit she is, because she’s shit! -ze” a yukkurimarisa said.

            “Reimu wants to sing about it!” a yukkurireimu said. “Reimu will sing all about how yukkuris can take it easy when Shit Reimu can’t take it easy!”

            “Marisa has a great idea, -ze,” another yukkurimarisa said. “If Shit Reimu thinks her poo-poo is so great, let’s all poo-poo in Shit Reimu, -ze.”

            “Let’s poo-poo on Shit Reimu’s Mister Bow!” yes another yukkurimarisa said.

            “MOMMYYYY! SAVE REIMU!”

            “Mommy never loved Shit Reimu, but Mommy loves Shit Reimu’s uneasiness, so…”  

            Quick for a yukkuri, Mommy Reimu ripped off Glutton Reimu’s hair bow.

            “NOOOOO! REIMU’S EASY MISTER BOW THAT MAKES HER EASIER THAN ALL OTHER YUKKURIS!”

            Mommy Reimu ignored her and spat out the bow towards the angry mob.

            “GIVE REIMU’S MISTER HAIR BOW BACK!”

            They did no such thing, and instead tore it to pieces like starved pack animals.

            “Nooooo… Reimu’s Mister Hair Bow… Now Reimu is just an uneasy thing…”

            Mommy Reimu ignored her, instead turning her bottom towards the shreds. “It’s yukkuris’ super poo-poo time!”

            “Yu! Reimu is easy yukkuri who goes in toilet, not like dead Shit Reimu,” a yukkurireimu said, turning her bottom to the shreds as well.

            “REIMU ISN’T DEAD!”

            “Good yukkuris poo-poo in Mister Toilet, -ze,” a yukkurimarisa said, following everyone else’s lead. In seconds, the assembled mob was in a reverse huddle around the accessory’s remains.

            “Poo-poo’s…”

            “DON’T POO-POO ON REIMU’S MISTER HAIR BOW!”

            “…coming ooouuuut.”

            “NOOOOOOO!”

            Glutton Reimu could only watch helplessly as the yukkuris defecated stale bean paste on her beloved hair bow.

            “Refreshed…” Mommy Reimu said.

            “Yuuuu-uu-uu-uu-uu-uu…” Glutton Reimu could only sob uncontrollably.

            Mommy Reimu heard this and turned around. “Yu?” She saw a yukkuri on a rock.

            Without an accessory.

            “WHAT IS THIS UNEASY THING?!”

            “Mommy! it’s Reimu! Why did Mommy poo-poo o-”

_PUUUUUUFFF!_

            Glutton Reimu was scared back-first onto the hot rock by Mommy Reimu’s sudden enraged puffing.

            “HOWTCH!” Glutton Reimu tried to get up, but couldn’t. “MOMMY! REIMU IS STUCK! SAVE REIMU!”

            Mommy Reimu was not longer sadistically cheerful, instead now angrily looming over the daughter she no longer recognized as a yukkuri.

            “Uneasy things without accessories are shit, good only for being toilets for easy yukkuris. Uneasy thing needs to be _punished_.”

            “What is Mommy saying? Reim-”

            “SHUT UP! Yukkuris will go poo-poo on uneasy toilet thing!” Once again, Mommy Reimu and the yukkuri mob converged towards their intended toilet — this time, Glutton Reimu — and aimed their anyarus at it.

            “Poo-poo’s…”

* * *

**_“YUUUUAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHH!”_ **

            Mima watched as, with a final tortured scream, Glutton Reimu convulsed and contorted in agony. The tailored mental torture and the increasing heat from the hot plat were too much for her, and Glutton Reimu lived no more, her face a sculpture of eternal anguish.

            Mima wasn’t done with her yet.

            She floated forward, leaned toward her victim, and inhaled deeply through her lips. Glutton Reimu’s literal tortured soul was pulled out of the pastry corpse and straight down Mima’s gullet. Already, her pseudo-metabolism began to savor the wretch’s crystalized agony as she slowly digested.

            Mima patted her belly and mmm’d in contentment. _Thing’s lucky it’s getting oblivion instead of damnation_ Mima thought. She floated over to a pot by the hot plate full of other used accessories, and thoughtlessly dropped the stolen yukkurireimu bow in. She then went to work carefully peeling off the previous wearer’s cooked remains. _The Yama should thank me for saving her some paperwork._ She chuckled at that.

            She turned around and floated over to the food shelves, leaning down to put the new food away. _Hmm, not enough room. The things ain’t getting eaten fast enough._ Mima switched the fresh yukkuri corpse with the half eaten one, and bit a manageable chunk out of it. _Mmmm! I should make a career out of this!_ _It’s kind of a chore, though, even if it is a few minutes every few days. I should really automa-_

            Mima perked up.   _I can!  I’ll just give Rika a call!  We’ve already made a soul processor for all those evil spirits we used way back when Marisa still had red hair._ Her face turned more thoughtful.  _Mechanizing the interactive illusions’ll be tricky-but-doable thoug-_

 _Even better idea!  I’ll ask that shady Myourenji raccoon to do the illusion work!  That’ll get Byakuren’s attention for sure!_ Mima grinned as much as she could with a mouth full of red paste.  _Never mind the shitheads, they’re all the same.  Getting a holy magician to rant at me’ll be so much more satisfying!_

            Mima began plotting her next move, her yukkuri victim long forgotten…

**Author's Note:**

> My first yukkuri-fic, and of *course* it degenerates into abyuse. (Also, all "yu" sounds are phoenetically spelled out when in the context of yukkuris.) 
> 
> I've hopefully expressed some thoughtfulness, particularly how notable Gensokyans (or whatever the proper demonym is) interact with the hopping pastry heads. I also wanted to show off "middle" yukkuris, ones that're neither "niceheads" or "scum;" selfish without being malicious.
> 
> As you may have guessed from the way the title's structured, I plan on writing more yu-fics, hopefully more nuanced than "yet another scum yukkuri gets karmically tortured."


End file.
